Famous Football Quotes

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.
By Heywood Hale Brown on Agression

We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now.
By Bruce Coslet on Bad Team

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?
By Jim Bouton on Baseball

Baseball is what we were. Football is what we have become.
By Mary McGrory on Baseball

One of the great disappointments of a football game is that the cheerleaders never seem to get injured.
By Miles Taylor on Cheerleaders

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
By Elbert Hubbard on College Football

At the base of it was the urge, if you wanted to play football, to knock someone down, that was what the sport was all about, the will to win closely linked with contact.
By George Plimpton on Contact

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
By Erma Bombeck on Death

A lot of fans were drawn to me because they knew that whatever the score was, I was going to run as hard as I could on every play. You don't have that now, you have guys waiting for next week or even next year.
By Walter Payton on Effort

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
By George F. Will on Football

What about football? Is it a sport or a concussion?
By Jim Murray on Football

Let's face it, you have to have a slightly recessive gene that has a little something to do with the brain to go out on the football field and beat your head against other human beings on a daily basis.
By Tim Green on Genes

When it comes to football, God is prejudiced - toward big, fast kids.
By Chuck Mills on God

There will always be hope for our country as long as more people watch "Monday Night Football" than "Friends."
By Michael Logsdon on Monday Night Football

If you're mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It's about the same.
By Bob Golic on Nose Tackles

Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.
By Frank Gifford on Nuclear War

Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it.
By Luke Salisbury on Pornography

Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.
By Merle Kessler on Prostitutes

There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.
By Alfred Hitchcock on Revolution

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
By Erma Bombeck on Rose Bowl

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.
By Sue Lawley on Rugby

Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.
By Doug Plank on Temper

Tom Landry wore a coat, a tie, a hat and an expression that revealed nothing as he stood on the sideline, arms folded, watching his Dallas Cowboys at work. Hockey pucks show more emotion. He was the Great Stoneface, but nobody gives you grief about that if you go to five Super Bowls and win a couple of them.
By Ron Green, Sr. on Tom Landry

The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
By Phyllis Diller on Uniforms

Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of. For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It's our Alamo.
By Tony Kornheiser on Women