Famous Golf Quotes
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
By P.J. O'Rourke on America
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears.
By Bobby Jones on Brains
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
By John Updike on Counting
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.
By Arnold Palmer on Erasers
It's easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister's fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification.
By Bruce McCall on Exorcism
Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
By Grantland Rice on Foes
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her.
By Val Doonican on Girls
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.
By Sam Snead on Golf Clubs
The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don't really seem to know any more about the game than the old one's did!
By Robert Browning on Golf Clubs
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
By William Wordsworth on Idleness
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.
By Paul Gallico on Larceny
They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
By Gardner Dickinson on Life
Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
By Arthur Daley on Love Affairs
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
By P.G. Wodehouse on Measles
Forget your opponents; always play against par.
By Sam Snead on Par
To be truthful, I think golfers are overpaid. It's unreal, and I have trouble dealing with the guilt sometime.
By Colin Montgomerie on Pay
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.
By Arnold Palmer on Poetry
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
By A.A. Milne on Popularity
No golfer can ever become too good to practice.
By Gerald Ford on Practice
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.
By Horace G. Hutchinson on Profanity
Rhythm is best expressed in any swing directed at a cigar stump or a dandelion head.
By Grantland Rice on Rhythm
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
By Will Rogers on Self-Loathing
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.
By Michael Green on Shots
Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything.
By Michael Bamberger on Swinging
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf.
By Robert Lynd on Tragedy